dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
