apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
