Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
