so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
