i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
