some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize