This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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