why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
