Cold hands, warm shart.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize