There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
