I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
