every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
