if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
