I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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