Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
