I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
