I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
