some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
