Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
