And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
