So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm at about main and main street
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
