I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
