there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
