The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
