There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize