Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
