She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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