I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
