Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
