weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you win again, gameday.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
