You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
