I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize