Can Purell be used as lube?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
