We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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