thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
