Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
