ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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