Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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