Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
