There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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