im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
