he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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