I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My vagina just clenched in fear
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
