Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She bit a glass in half.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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