why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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