it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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