what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
