just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
