I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize