Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize