Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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