Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
