Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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