PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You dont lie about slip and slides
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Randomize
