You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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