Don't EVER smell your tampon
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
