smell my finger.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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