Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
