As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
