Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me I should be a condom model.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
