youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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