His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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