I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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