Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Small penises have feelings too.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize