She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
